The Battle Within
September 27, 2008
Last weekend I went to a retreat called “Seasons and Cycles” presented by Gloria Karpinski. It was about how to age gracefully. Since I turned 49 in August, thinking of turning 50 has been on my mind, lets say.
I was introduced to Gloria via Randy’s cousin a while back and together she and I had a lovely “Afternoon Tea with Gloria” at The Blessings Project in Winston-Salem, NC. But this retreat was two whole days. It was amazing! I learned that my resume is great but I have no clue about my spirit or body. It was a true YMCA moment, you know their theme, YMCA for the whole you- Body, Mind and Spirit? Well anyway, I started working on my body back a month ago after going to the doctor and he reported I have borderline high cholesterol. So I was already on the South Beach Diet which I love. But my Spirit stuff needs some attention.
During my Climate Project preparation for my presentation to the Professional Women of Winston-Salem, I re-found a book I had read back in the 90’s “Women Who Run with Wolves” and used some of the archetypes of being a strong woman to go out and address the current issues facing our environment with bravery, boldness and the intuitiveness of a sleek beautiful wolf huntress. Somehow this image came up for me again this weekend at my retreat on aging gracefully. I also thought of the character in the musical Cats about the aging Grizabella. Below is an excerpt from that musical that touches me.
.......
Memory, all alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
......
Sunlight, through the trees in summer
Endless masquerading
Like a flower as the dawn is breaking
The memory is fading
Touch me, it's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me you'll understand what happiness is
Look, a new day has begun
I loved the musical Cats and saw it with my wonderful friend Lida Sedgewick in London in 1998 and cried so much. It was beautiful.
But getting back to the wolf image and the battle within to become this sleek, intuitive wolf huntress- I came across a story taken from an old Cherokee tale that floored me when I read it. It is titled, “The Battle Within”. It is rather long, but the punch line is universal as the grandfather is talking to his grandson. Here, it has been updated to a modern world issue but it is a universal truth and can morph to your story.
A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt regarding the tragedy on Sept 11th, 2001.
He said, “I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one.”
The grandson asked him, “Which wolf will win the fight in your heart, grandfather?”
The grandfather answered, “The one I feed.”
The full story is here:
http://www.lakotawritings.com/The_Battle_Within.htm
So I am feeding my Spirit by reading Indian writings and Gloria’s books and meditating. I go for walks on the farm to get exercise. Nature is going to save me. And then we are back to the environment.
I think about it always and read about it and work for it in every spare minute it seems. I just finished and recommend “The Bridge at the Edge of the World” by James Gustave Speth subtitled “Capitalism, the Environment, and Crossing from Crisis to Sustainability.” In light of the financial crisis, it is SO very relevant.
So, I am aging as gracefully as I can.
This is my granny look as I was learning to play Texas Hold 'em from an 8 year old that beat the pants off me! Oh and I see my mother in this pic too which REALLY scares the bejesus outta me! Ha!
Peace to us all.
The full story is here:
http://www.lakotawritings.com/The_Battle_Within.htm
